This blog post is written in fun and not to be taken seriously.
Tis the Season to be happy and full of glee.
Tis the Season when you shop for days looking for the perfect gift for your loved ones.
You have visited every website online to locate the perfect gift for your mom and you have stood in lines for hours to get your hands on that 55 inch flat screen that your husband has drooled over for the past three months.
The big day is here. Everyone has opened their gifts. Smiles and laughter fill the room. Then it’s your turn. You rip open your present, then lo and behold. Your heart hits the floor. You feel as if you’ve been hit by a Mack Truck. You think to yourself. “How could he?” “What nerve!” Also another list of expletives comes to mind, but you stop yourself from spitting them out of your mouth. Right now he’s every so and so in the book. You’re sitting thinking what in the heck am I to do with this.
Your husband notices the bewildered look on your face and asks, “Honey what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
You are hurt and even a bit angry. You’re having a hard time taking it all in. If the tiny slits in your eyes could spew out lasers he would be dead on arrival of handing you such a lame present.
You normally are not an ungrateful person. You believe that Christmas is not solely about gift giving because you know that it’s the thought that counts. You however, appreciate it when a little effort is put into buying your gift. But obviously this did not take much thought at all.
Through pierced lips you somehow spit out the words “thank you for the Santa Claus Hat and Glove Set.”
Your husband kisses you on your cheek and continues to brag and puff his chest out as if he’s done something. “Oh and don’t forget the scarf. It matches the hat and gloves.”
How many of you have experienced this? Now that Christmas has come and gone are you happy with your gift or were you left thinking “what the hell?”
While web surfing I came across an article on the website of the NY Times Blog.
The blog talked about the worst Christmas gifts ever, which prompted me to have some fun and write a little piece for you to partake in. The article had numerous posts of people sharing their Christmas gift horror stories. Below are just a few.
“One year my elderly great-aunt game me a box of straws and my sister received a tube of mustard. This remains a longstanding family joke nearly 60 years later.”
“My father came home from New York City with a big gift when I was 8. It turned out to be a sturdy blue suitcase with my initials in gold by the handle. I was worried from then on when I was going to be sent away.”
“When my sister was newly divorced for the second time and completely miserable, our mother gave her a cookbook called “Cooking for One” and some sort of individual Crockpot to go with it.”
Now here’s my list of not so great gifts:
- Fruit cakes
- Slippers (even if I do need them)
- Ugly Cotton Underwear
- A photograph of you and your dog. Minus a cute little frame.
- Donut Hole Maker
- Of course the worst ever! The Chia Pet
Now this was all in fun. I really do believe that the Christmas gifting season is not about receiving, but giving.
I hope that you were happy with our gifts and that you had a joyous holiday.